In the
age of selfies, when everyone carries a camera in their pocket and knows
precisely what they look like at every moment, there is a burgeoning new market
for the return of portraiture. Not with paint, no of course not. No one now
would sit still that long or pay an artist when they can style themselves into
oil with a few swipes of their finger and a good filter. They can post it
immediately and gather Likes. It’s the easiest thing in the world.
But
perhaps these people who constantly show the world how they wish to be remembered
could benefit from Word Portraiture. Anyone can take a selfie but who can
describe themselves with accuracy? Who knows how they move? How they look in
unstudied moments? For a nominal fee I will paint you into a prose-poem. Like
any good portraitist I will soften your wrinkles and make warm the light. I
will learn the briefest flash of your eyes, the falter of your lips, your
shyness as you glance aside. I will witness you with all the accuracy you can
handle.
So come
into my shop. Sit with me in motion and emotion. To ease your mind I will share
my story. I would have been a writer but I had no gift for plot. Good with verbiage
but not verbs. My characters moved through one dimension with a complicated
grace but nothing ever happened to them. I was an artist, not an author; words
were just my medium.
It’s
been two years and I am still in business. The secret is to be studious but
soft, true to life but just a little sweeter. Look around the gallery and
sample my wares. My hourly rate is reasonable; all you have to do is let me in.
Without Da Vinci all that’s left is Mona Lisa with a selfie stick.
